Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
