My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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