i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
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