with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
