Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
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his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
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He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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