Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
