"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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