idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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