he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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