So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i barfeds in our rink
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
