I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
you would pick up someone in the library
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
