that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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