It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
