How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
