its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are the jesus of drinking
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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