She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
