dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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