I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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