:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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