every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
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He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
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You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
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