If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
