I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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