Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
