he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
The air taste purple.
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