im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
