I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
