I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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