dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
