He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
