Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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