There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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