I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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