Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
