Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You are a genius and a whore.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
