We're like a lot better than the average bears
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
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You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
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So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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