drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
