Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
