So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
that may or may not have been my penis.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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