have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i just made my gag reflex go away.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
