The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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