I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
