Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
