Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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