In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
