I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
