oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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