We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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