...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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