I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
