why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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