It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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