Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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