Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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