I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
