i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
