OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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