you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
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