I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize