Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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