she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
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