i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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