Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
