I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
