I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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