I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
