you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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