she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
All I want is dick and wine.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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