You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
