I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Randomize
