I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
