Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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