Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Randomize
